...to Impress Her Softball Team with Cake Pops.

Once upon a time, there was a nearly-mythical dessert known as the Cake Pop.  It only existed in high-end social circles, Starbucks pastry windows, and on the food channel.  No one with my level of cooking skill would ever attempt the elusive Cake Pop.  And then, one day, everything changed.  I went to a party.  A party with a single, beautiful platter of cake pops.

Okay, so "party" isn't really the word I should have used.  It was a jewelry event for a charity that provides jobs to women who were saved from the sex slave trade, and I went with my grandma and aunt.  But nevertheless, there were cake pops.  I had to have one.  No, I had to have more than one.  Five is more like it.  And there were no professional chefs at this event.  Only middle-aged to quite elderly woman.  Could it really be?  Could normal folk like myself create such delightful little balls of such rich flavor and texture?  They could!

I could.

I had to try it.  Here's what I pictured in my head (and I think this is actually a thing):  A pan, similar to a cupcake pan, but with little spheres instead.  Yeah.  That's not how real cake pops are made.  It's much more complicated.  But again, I say, I could do this.  And here's the story of how I attempted to impress my co-ed slow-pitch Thursday night softball team of champions.  Three-time champions.

Wife Beater Night.  Yes, we have themes, and yes, we are awesome.

I volunteered to bring snack last week.  Yes, that's right, we are like children who need snacks after a t-ball game.  Our team name is actually Here for the Snacks.  What better to bring for snack then tiny softball-shaped cakes?  I pictured the perfectly round white balls with cute little red icing seams.  The team would love them!  I started the project the day before the game, just in case anything went wrong.  But of course nothing would.  Of course.  Here's what you need for the pops.

Any cake mix, frosting, or chip flavor will do.  Seriously, have fun with it.

The first part is super simple.   Follow the cake mix recipe on the box, or get creative.  I love to add cinnamon and a little vanilla to my yellow cake.  Basically no-fail.  Unless you burn the cake.  Don't burn the cake!   Also, let it cool completely before you move on to the next step, if you have the patience.  I usually don't, but the law of cake pop making says you should.  While you wait, why not do some flavor research.

Now that the cake has had sufficient time to cool (you've been lost on Pinterest for hours, haven't you?), it's time for some destruction.  Bet your mom never let you grab fistfuls of fresh-baked cake before.  Well I'm here to tell you it is okay!  Crumble it to pieces...or crumbs to be more exact.  Add in your frosting of choice.  Start small!  You can always add more, but believe you me, you cannot go back from too much frosting.  Mix it in with your hands.  Taste the results.  Adjust accordingly.  Keep in mind, cake pops are freakin' rich.  You're going to be adding a hard chocolate shell later.  Don't overdo it with the frosting.

Crumbled up cake.  Simple.  Just add frosting.

Throw the bowl in the fridge for a couple hours, or in the freezer for not a couple hours.  You need the mixture to be roll-into-balls-able.  We aren't making sloppy pancakes here.  Although...now I'm hungry for breakfast.  But back to the balls.  You want these to be about one inch in diameter.  Mine usually end up bigger because I can't eye-measure well.  Roll them out, put them on a pan, and clear some space in the freezer (because you're really impatient to finish this project at this point).  About half hour in the freezer should be enough.

Melt a tiny bit of your chips, dip the ends of the sticks into the melty chocolaty goodness, and insert into the semi-frozen cake balls.  Hopefully this makes them stay put when you go to do the final dipping.  I'll be honest, I have not perfected the final dipping part.  Okay, put them back in the freezer for a little bit.

Progress!

Melt your chocolate.  You can use regular chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, etc.  Or you can use candy melts, which I've had more success with, but you can't buy them at Target, so why even bother, right?  Target is my go to store for any and all food, clothing, and other needs, by the way.  So the chips...melt them.  Follow the directions on the bag or I promise you, you will ruin the chocolate.  I've done it like a thousand times.  You can microwave or you can double-boiler that stuff, just do it right.  Once its melted, move fast and dip the cake pops.  It's harder than Starbucks makes it look.

Dip. Twist. Remove. Sprinkles!

I told you I wanted cute icing softball seams.  But what I got instead were these dorky-looking things:

That's right.  It says "Sparkle Gel."  My pops got character.

And despite the way they looked, my generous softball team ate every last cake pop that night.  Now if only I could impress them with my softball skills.

Oh yeah, do you wanna see what happens when you melt chocolate wrong?

This was burnt melted chocolate.  I added milk to try to salvage it.  It made it greasy and it refused to stick to the cake pops.  Don't add milk.